The Dove Bible Study Bringing Glory To God Is Your Goal We Are Always Improving Our Site For You! Under Construction Just Like Me! To Go To The DOVE BIBLE STUDY Home Page Click Here   BEHAVIOR INFLUENCED BY DIRT DECEPTIVE IR-RATIONAL THOUGHTS   When I am disobedient, to get my needs met for affection I ...   Act on the emotions of the moment Adopt any type of behavior to have my needs met Adopt the behavior and morality of the crowd Compulsively seek love, affection and approval from anyone Control people to meet my standards and terms Express love and affection, then abandon people Engage in possible sexual sin because of loneliness Often react jealously to get people to spend time with me Perform for significant others in my life Fantasize sexually and romantically Use alcohol and drugs to lessen the pain   When I do disobedient, I don’t get my needs met for affection since I ... Appear cold and withdrawn   Appear not to want love Do not ever allow others to meet my standards Do not participate emotionally Bend, mold, and browbeat people to get my needs met Express love on a very reserved basis Feel others should understand my need for love Indirectly communicate my needs and confuse others Limit my response because of the fear of rejection Reject the expressions of love shown by others   When I’m disobedient and people don’t meet my needs for affection I ..   Become passive-aggressive by forgetting things Become angry for lack of recognition Become harsh (cruel and brutal) Become hateful (malicious) Become hostile (vent my anger) Become unaffectionate Become unapproachable Become unfriendly (cynical) Become unwilling to forgive Get irritated easily Have a quick temper (short fuse) Harbor bitterness (unwilling to forgive) Hold a grudge (be resentful) Keep a scorecard of wrongs done to or by me Procrastinate and am usually late Punish myself or others Retreat to the silent treatment   Return hurt for hurt Try to get even (seek revenge) Undertake any behavior necessary to meet emotional needs Use people to get love and affection Want my mate to initiate and invest all the energy Want others to fail or get hurt     Will sacrifice only to get my need met     When I am disobedient, I don’t have my needs met I react and ...   Become sarcastic, refusing to communicate Become slanderous (misrepresent the actual situation) Engage my ‘dry’ sense of humor to irritate others Fight unfairly (take cheap shots, backbite, slander) Gossip (talking behind other's backs, spread rumors) Hold off others with ‘dry’ sense of humor Handle unaffectionate hostile people by attacking them Hold off others with ‘smart alec’ remarks Make ‘critical’ and ‘sarcastic’ remarks in order to resist sex with my mate Use humor to hide deep, tender feelings Use humor to protect myself from rejection Use wisecracks and jokes to irritate unaffectionate people Engage in communication sabotage   When I am disobedient and my needs are not met I escape and ...   Become overly introspective (spiral down) Become self-absorbed (self-consumed) Believe I'm OK only when I feel OK Believe the truth is only what I feel Daydream, fantasize Deny anything is bad or wrong Deny feelings or have difficulty expressing them Deny my opinions and fail to express them openly and honestly Deny reality and withdraw into my own world Expect others to be responsible for my feelings Feel I am being used and plan some sort of revenge Ignore problems and hope they will go away Live by my feelings and refuse to look for help Fantasize sexually and romantically to meet emotional needs   When I am disobedient and do not have my wants met I ...   Become anxious when forced to be away from people Become anxious (worry and fret over the unknown) Become bitter if relationships are broken Become defensive if confronted Become dependent on other people to make me feel loved Become distrustful of people Become fearful (apprehensive)     Become hypersensitive (always on the defense) Become overly apologetic ( I can never do anything right) Become paralyzed (go numb and wall out others)  Become paranoid (overly suspicious of everyone) Becomes possessive (selfish or jealous in most relationships)    When I am disobedient, I act on the emotions of the moment and ...   Allow guilt feelings to control me Assume I am always the problem Avoid intimacy Beat up on myself (hating myself)        Become extremely self-sacrificing Become inhibited Become moody (sulk)  Become overly submissive (give up all rights to people) Become passive - lack initiative and quits too easily Become self-depreciating (self-condemning/self-critical) Become stoical (unemotional) Become too hard on myself and live without grace Become uncomfortable with success Bottle up emotions Center on the negative points of the relationship Cling (become a leach) to those who finally accept me Consider emotions foolish Do not communicate on any level Do not initiate physical contact Do not participate emotionally Engage in self pity      Express love by doing things to get my way Fake it (hiding what I really think and feel) Feel others should read my mind Feel sorry for myself   Focus on suffering or trials to get attention and sympathy   When I am disobedient, I act on the emotions of the moment and ...   Act impulsively - leap before I think Assume ‘if it feels good, I can do it’     Become anxious when isolated from people Become compulsive (lacking self-control)      Become impulsive (hasty)    Become irresponsible Become perfectionistic and compulsive Become restless and bored easily Become self-indulgent (self-gratifying) Become undisciplined in regards to completing a task Buy things to feel better     Get depressed by stuffing my anger and frustration       Have difficulty forgiving myself    Have difficulty receiving complements  Have difficulty receiving forgiveness Have difficulty receiving love       Have trouble dealing with feelings Hesitate because I could not stand being at fault Lack follow through Ask why others show me love and affection Lose my focus easily Lose self-control easily Motivate others through emotions Need to socialize endlessly Perform to get attention and impress others Play the role of victim/martyr     Push my self beyond endurance Read in rejection when it isn't there Stay uninvolved to protect myself   When I am disobedient, I avoid responsibility becoming self-indulgent  because I ...   Can not control mood swings Can not discipline the family Cannot handle criticism Cannot be confronted with failures and mistakes Fear being punished for not doing the right thing Fear looking incompetent Fear losing control of my own life Fear making mistakes, looking foolish, and being found out   When I am disobedient, in order to avoid personal responsibility I ...   Abandon tasks or blame others for my actions Become extremely weak willed Become indirect and stubborn Become indirect and appear to want to be controlled Become self-protective and never competent Blame someone else if ‘things go wrong ‘ Depend on others to make my decisions Depend on others to share responsibilities and decisions Depend upon others and use them as the fall guy Do not communicate my preference Expect others to know how I feel or read my mind Motivate others by guilt to take responsibility Manipulate others through use of guilt Procrastinate endlessly Quit and exaggerate the demands (duties and tasks) Swing abruptly from self-sacrifice to self-indulgent modes Swing from total independence to total dependence   When I am disobedient, in order to stay in control I will ...   Be arrogant (cocky) Be conceited (smug) Be blunt Be boastful(proud) Be demanding (pushy) Be dictatorial (bossy) Be dominant Be egocentric (acting pompous) Be head strong   Be highly critical of others Be hostile Be legalistic       Be manipulative Be overbearing (controlling) Be paranoid (overly suspicious) Be preachy (lecturing others) Be proud (haughty) Be self-assured (self-confident) Be self-disciplined (self-reliant) Be self-righteous, selfish  Be stern (solemn/formal) Be stubborn, obstinate, unreasonable, and unyielding Be stubbornly independent and non-involved   When I am disobedient, in order to stay in control I become perfectionistic and ...   I am never satisfied I am very difficult to counsel I become independent and difficult to motivate I check out everything you tell me I do not submit to authorities I know no one else can do the job like I can I legally keep the agenda I live ‘by the book’     I live by rules (should', must's, ought's) I must always be right I must always be the best I must always win I must avoid failure at all cost I never feel satisfied I overcompensate so as not to fail        I pretend to know it all I will be extremely disciplined   When I am disobedient, in order to maintain control I will ...   Be argumentative, inflexible, rigid, or close-minded Be capable of cold, calculating, neurotic behavior Become bitter, resentful, anxious and vengeful   Cause dissension (strife) Demand my rights Get angry and cruel Intimidate and irritate others Manipulate (use coercion) Not delegate responsibility Use a ‘biting’ sense of humor Use blackmail to control (make threats) Use guilt to regain or maintain control Use people against one another Use policies as law Use profanity (swearing) Use ungodly means and poor behavior   When I am disobedient in order to establish and maintain power I ...   Blame others for my own failure Cooperate in order gain more power Dominate and control all people and situations Get angry and physically seek revenge Show favoritism Take extremely high risks Use any possible form of abuse to gain control  Use good or bad behaviors to regain control   When I am disobedient in order to take or maintain authority I ...   Become legalistic on most topics Depend on myself instead of God Depend on others instead of God Distrust everyone Do not delegate responsibilities Do not share decision-making       Give unsolicited advice or badger to get my way Make decisions for others and not listen to advice  Stubbornly refuse to move or change Take over others’ responsibility   Undertake any behavior to squash the opposition   When I am disobedient in order get my need for attention and affection I will ...   Be a busybody (become too involved in other's affairs) Be a caretaker (rescuer) Be a doormat (let others take advantage of me)    Be a people pleaser Be controlled by emotions - anger, doubts, fear, etc. Be controlled by others emotions Be indecisive (not making decisions) Be irresponsible (become unreliable) Be lax on discipline Be lazy, apathetic, lethargic Be overly analytical Be overly compliant    Be overprotective/ rescuing others       Be passive (play helpless) Be too changeable Be too compromising  Be too insensitive to criticism Be too submissive Have difficulty asking for help Have difficulty saying ‘no’   Have difficulty setting boundaries/standing up for myself Try to be all things to all people  Try to do the ‘proper/correct’ thing     Try to keep everyone happy Try to keep peace at all cost       Try to prevent others’ failure         When I am disobedient, in order to escape pain, I may become obsessed with...   Alcohol         Drugs         Caffeine            Sugar         Junk Food        Carousing       Sex              Talking      Television          Sleep      Athletics    Religion     Hobbies/Games  Reading     Computers         Fantasy     Movies     Pornography Religious Activity     Service      Work            Accomplishments       Recognition Status       The Past    Past Hurts         Past Failures Order     Rules Regulations               What Others Think Of Me        My Personal Performance    When I am disobedient, in order to maintain control I...   Defend myself with a ‘biting’ sense of humor Hurt others with my ‘wiry’ sense of humor Manifest my anger physically to seek revenge React by being mean, intolerable and cruel Tend to be verbally cruel Tend to be very stubborn Use anger as a defensive mask Use cruel behavior to get my way Use my twisted sense of humor Uses humor and sarcastic remarks when opposed Ventilate my anger with a cruel sense of humor   When I am disobedient, I become self-righteous or self-justified and ...   Assume I am never the problem Appear cold and indifferent Appear insensitive, uncaring, unconcerned, or apathetic Become critical of others (blaming others) Become extremely serious in every aspect of life Become judgmental (opinionated) Become unapproachable      Show critical attitude of self and others Display a frequent and uncontrollable temper Have difficulty admitting I was wrong   When I am disobedient, I get angry and get even by ...   Always reversing punishment Avoiding social events Excusing my abuse of people Lashing out with my ‘dry’ sense of humor Releasing my hot-temper and forgetting why Stubbornly refusing to change Using ‘put down’ remarks to belittle Using sarcasm when hurt (emotionally) Using verbal or physical abuse   When I am disobedient, I deny or avoid reality and ...   Become pretentious (phony, unreal)     Become restless (high strung) Become gushy (too sentimental)  “Con” people to get what I want Control the conversation Cover up and hide mistakes Deceive, lie or mislead others Exaggerate (overstate matters) Fake it (hiding what I really think and feel) Find fault with others, myself, and everything around me Ignore problems and hope they will go away Make excuses (rationalize)   Play games to hide real intent Put on a show Put up a front (can't be real) Run and hide (escape)   I live through the emotions of the moment and..   Become hypersensitive (touchy) Become indecisive Become pessimistic Become skeptical (suspicious) Become tense (nervous/agitated) Become touchy (irritable) Complain a lot (become negative) Get angry if not recognized for services Get depressed easily Get extremely serious in every aspect of life Get trapped by gloom & doom thinking Have difficulty relaxing Lack confidence and optimism Knit-pick things to death   I get angry when someone tries to control me and ...   Become anxious and fearful Become critical of others Become defensive Become prejudiced (intolerant) Become spiritually abusive Become stubborn and will not change Become very cruel and abusive (usually verbally) Become very irresponsible and unsociable Distrust others, myself, God, church, and/or government Expect perfection of self and others Internalize my anger and seek vengeance Lash out at others with a dry sense of humor Lash our with an uncontrollable temper Screen out individuals for profit and power Tend to get hostile and seek vengeance Use my cruel temper Use people as objects or commodities Use people to accomplish tasks Usually dominate others to reach goals   When I am disobedient, I withdraw emotionally and ...   Avoid others (become a loner) Become emotionally insulated     Become stoical (unemotional) Become unenthusiastic Become inexpressive Become uninterested in life Become very irresponsible and unsociable Distance myself from others        Do not communicate   Go into a shell   Isolate myself from other people Keep people at a distance   Set things up to bring about rejections Take life too easy - the path of least resistance   When I am disobedient, I tend to have indirect behavior and I ...   Am easily manipulated and controlled Am undisciplined in regards to completing a task Appear to be apathetic and expressionless Appear to be shy and withdrawn Become complacent or nonchalant Become extremely shy and withdraw socially   When I am disobedient, I tend to have indirect behavior and I ...   Become neurotic Become overly introverted and isolate myself Communicate poorly Do not initiate but wait upon you to set the stage Expect you to read my mind Act indecisively - ‘I want it, I don't want it’ Rarely feel accepted or wanted Say things like, ‘It doesn't matter ... It's OK  Take the path of least resistance Take things too personally Tend to be no more than an observer in life Tend to be very confusing to others Want peace at all costs